Update

Sup, haven't been here for a while. Quick update:

-Had new gf, broke up with her 1 and a half year later. Currently free, single and ready to mingle.
-Studying English Studies.
-Erasmus to Newfuckingcastle.
-Have a part-time job in a restaurant.

So... hi. I'll try to update this more often. It's funny to see how your personality changes throughout time.

Obligatory funny pic:

NETR.

kjbsd

Unworthy of anything

Over thinking. Lack of self-respect. Fear of solitude. Three ghosts that have been haunting me since... don't really know. Indecision, not knowing what I want... when I unconsciously become my biggest obstacle. How do I prevent this? Wish I could get over this and do the way I please... but then I end up pleasing other and betraying myself. Every single time. I wish I could be more selfish. Simply not giving a flying fuck about shit. Make the world spin around me. But... how? Am I condemned to be a coward forever? It is easier to just give up instead of fighting for what I long... but, isn't it worth the risk?

 This year, I ask for one thing: Strength to overcome my fear of failure.

Pic related:

NETR.

Anger issues.

Lately, I'm having trouble trying to manage my anger. I get pissed off easily. Moreover, I'm so pissed off right now. I'm even a bit concerned about my mental wellness... shit, sometimes I think I may go nuts. The tiniest thing makes my blood boil. Around my friends, I sound even more cynical and sarcastic than usual. I argue with them sometimes, because I think they secretly laugh at me. I don't like talking to my parents and when I do, I tend to speak louder than necessary. I feel anxious and I often enjoy taking long walks, sprinting very very fast or, if I have the chance, hitting stuff. I often find myself fantasizing about picking fights with people... I stopped caring about others, hell I've just noticed how many times I wrote the word "I". Seriously, I don't know WTF is wrong with me...

I'd like to think this is all HER fault... but I'm afraid it's not. Something has awaken inside of me... and I'm a bit scared of it. Maybe I'm not the good guy I always thought I was.

Pic related: It's how I feel.

NETR.

If I am Lolita...

... then you are a criminal scum.
... then I am a glorious winged faggot.
... then you are a pedobear.
... then fuck you.
... then I am 12 years old, and what is this?
... then underage b&.

NETR.

BAOBAB

NETR.

Rage.

This is what I feel right now.

I'm always the good guy. The one who's always there for you. The one who listens to your problems and your worries. The one that tries its best to help you. Who always avoids upsetting and confronting you. Who will do anything you want for you... Like a fucking DOG. Don't know why but... this is how I am. No matter how hard I try, I'm always scared. Of what? Confronting people, being hurt... Why am I so scared?


But not today. Today is my day. Just for me. Now, it's time for you to be my dog.

NETR.